i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
