there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Moan for me like Helen Keller
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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