so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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