would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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