My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
