Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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