So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
