hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize