nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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