So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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