..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
