I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
