Screwed.edu
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Every concussion has its silver lining
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
