Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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