3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize