I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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