I must be too annoying 4 u.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
