Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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