I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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