Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do vagina's smell?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
