I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
