I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
