What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
