I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it because I queefed?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
