His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
