so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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