just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
