Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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