I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
