The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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