don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
