You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
