I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
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I intend to get homeless drunk
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.