Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?