Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(970): View more from Colorado

i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I intend to get homeless drunk

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(360): View more from Washington

I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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(410): View more from Maryland

Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore

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(289): View more from Ontario

Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.

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