oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
where are you?
Hypothermia
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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