saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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