we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
