beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.