I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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