Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
