He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
