I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
