Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
