do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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