I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
