Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ugly people sure do ruin things
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize