i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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