I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
