no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
