its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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