I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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