Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
