I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
