he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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