How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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