you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All the doctor said was why
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize