In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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