How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
