i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
