first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
