Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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