Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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