Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
