im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
