You smell like stripper and shame
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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