The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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