I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They are going to name an STD after you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
