I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
