This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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